Mom is standing in my room, after shouting to me from downstairs five times she finally decided to come after me. Its late she says, you're going to miss the bus! She removes the warm blanket from me and hands me my uniform. She sets up breakfast as I get ready. I have no mood to eat. She forces me, feeds me with her own hand while I eat with all the resistance in the world. This happens every morning. I wonder how come she never gets tired of me. The bus is here. Mom kisses me. Holds me in her warm hug. Before letting me go. How much a mom sacrifices? How much she must want me to stay in that warm blanket with her. I wish I knew it then.
Iam in the bus now. I think of what i'll be when i grow up. Will I join the army and be a hero like dad Is? Or Will i become a doctor and keep people healthy and happy. How about a teacher? Then I can let little children like me play for hours and never have to take tests or give homeworks. Oh the possibilities makes my heart filled with joy! I want to serve my country and do good so that Allah will be pleased with me and then he'll let me stay in paradise with mom n dadWhatever I become, I shall buy the best of things for my parents. I saw mommy liked a dress in that shop the other day, but it was too expensive, and my fees were due. She set it down without a second thought. I shall buy all the nice dresses for her. I shall hire cooks and maids so she never has to work again. I shall buy a big house for us to stay in, a nice car for dad too. I will make them so happy. These dreams makes going to school worth it. I enter the school.
Its 10:30am, I hear loud noises all around me, There is so much red everywhere. What is happening? I hear cries Being silenced one by one, forever. My friends whom I used to play with, gone within seconds. I don't think I will make it. I close my eyes, All i see is the beautiful face of my mom. I want to be wrapped in her arms once more. I know how terrible it'll be for her. I don't want her to cry. I want to make her proud. I want to buy her that dress. I had so many dreams. Is this the end? I remember she said I'll meet Allah when i die. Perhaps i'll tell him about these bad men. Perhaps i'll ask him to give mom strength to bear my loss.I have to get ready to meet him. With trembling lips I recite the first kalma she taught me. I hear a man do the same. How can we be so similar yet so opposite? Doesn't he know I have so much to do? So many dreams to fulfill? I am sorry mom. I couldn't buy you that dress in this life. Iam sorry. This is the end. The end of me, and my dreams.
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